Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Day 4

Returning with my tail between my legs because I had to start my fast over, the day after my last post. I ate a couple bites of food on the morning and though I purged, I still had to start my Day 1 all over again (making today Day 4 instead of Day 7). >_<

Anyway, third time is the charm, I guess, because I am ultra-determined once again (like I was at the start of my previous 1 month fast), which is so relieving because last week I was having a hell of a time getting into fasting mind state. I wanted to eat... and fasting is impossible if you want to eat.

So anyway, I pushed through, and then today... all my joy was returned to me; jittery jaw, endless energy, inverted stomach (it had been poking out for the last week... fucking disgusting), sharper senses, etc.

I will do this. I will fast for another 20 days and then another month after that if need be. Because I refuse to let myself down this time, like I have for years before. I refuse to remain eternally trapped inside myself.
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5 comments:

  1. AfricanaDecember 10, 2009 at 9:51 AM

    I'm thinking of you! So glad you pushed through. That's what I need to do. I've been struggling for months to just get through the first day. (Damn that Mia!) But I know that wonderful feeling of empty is just around the corner and once you get it...it is so hard to let it go.

    Sending you love and strength!
    A

    ReplyDelete
  2. SibelDecember 17, 2009 at 2:06 AM

    I just started a fast today. It's only for 4 days. But wow, 30 days. That's amazing, I sincerely hope you make it. Best of luck. You are an inspiration.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Kate Lunacy.December 25, 2009 at 1:32 PM

    I start writing a blog about my life with my eating
    disorder and my addiction to fashion. I really need readers,
    because in my real life I had no listeners. Alone, yes I was
    always alone with my thoughts, in those days I didn't care about it.
    Untill I discovered the blogs and learnt how good it can feel to have
    readers. Readers, which share the same intress and have the same
    feelings after a shitty snack attack.


    Plz, visit me:
    beautiful-lunacy.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  4. AfricanaDecember 28, 2009 at 12:50 PM

    I miss you! I hope your holidays are going well. xox

    feel free to email me any time,

    yana(dot)africana@gmail(dot)com

    ReplyDelete
  5. AfricanaDecember 28, 2009 at 9:47 PM

    I know I'm a pest...but you really are missed. :)

    When these damn holidays end I hope you will resurface.

    xoxoxoxox,
    A

    ReplyDelete

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