X and I will be taking a trip in one month, so in 4 weeks from now, and I really want to be 10lb thinner by then but ALSO to tone up. God, I loathe my squishy body and I feel so bad that X has to touch or look at me.
Anyway, on a positive note... I am in better spirits than I was on my post the other day and I have to say THANK YOU so much to my followers. I know I have said it so many times before but your comments, support and friendships really mean the world to me and make this tormenting disorder a bit easier to cope with.
I've begun to just double up on the toning exercises I've been doing... basically if I find myself with any spare 10 min throughout the day, I've started just doing crunches, leg lifts, arm weights, etc.
I feel so determined and defeated, simultaneously. Perhaps that is the best I can ask for though; maybe the defeat and disdain are actually what keep me determined in the first place.
For so long I was trapped in purge-atory and all I longed for was to break 'free'. Now I have, and of course, it's a whole new hell; a whole new plane of distorted existence. But I, of course, wouldn't have it any other way.
|| "Quien no llena su mundo de fantasmas, se queda solo." ||
(he who does not fill his world with ghosts, remains alone)
- Antonio Porchia
*
xoxoxo
I like that quote...That's like...tattoo-worthy. Hmmm... ;)
ReplyDeleteEven as you thank us, we may thank you. I look forward to your posts and I love the tone of each one; even when you're having a bad day, your writing is beautiful.
Your exercise plan sounds pretty phenomenal, actually. I read recently that the approach you're taking is, in fact, just as effective as hitting the gym for one long session, as it keeps your basal metabolic rate up, kicking it into gear multiple times per day rather than just one time, all at once. Keep it up! You're sure to see results. :)
Also, for loose skin, I was stalking the aisle of the beauty/health department at the grocery store yesterday and (re)discovered the area devoted to pregnancy and post-baby body and all that. There're creams and salves and lotions for stretch marks and cellulite, of course, which are the bane of *my* existence, but there're also lotions that cater especially to those of us with skin still loose after weight loss... They're not all that expensive, and a good many of them are clinically proven to work over time, as long as your consistent. Maybe something like that would be good for you...?
I hope you're well, and as always, stay lovely, hun. :)
I hope you get ten pounds and more lighter! Great luck!
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